July 29, 2023
Born and raised in Nigeria, my father died when I was three years old. My mother became a single parent very early in her life. She was a teacher, a farmer and much more. She is a very strong woman. She fought for her family. My paternal grandmother who had nine children had lost seven of them including my father. She became blind and needed someone to care for her. I did not meet my paternal grandfather. At about 10 years old, I became my grandmother’s caregiver. My grandmother lived with us. Something that looked like child abuse gave me the foundation to become a nurse. I grew up not having a lot, but I was contented and happy. It took the community to raise children where I grew up. I was surrounded by uncles and aunties. Mom and others instilled hope in me and gave me reasons to dream big and pursue my passion. I don’t know how many people can relate to my experience growing up. It was not easy, but I made it through. There were so many times I was nervous, had doubts, felt depressed, had disappointments but I kept pushing through. I kept putting one foot in front of me. I had dreams, I had plans that at the time I did not even know how I was going to achieve, but I had hope. I always told myself, “If I can do my part, God will do his part, and everything will work out.”
I went through elementary and secondary school education and was on top of my class. I was not sure whether I would go to college or not considering the financial constraints on my mother. I kept hoping that if I perform well enough in the qualifying exams, someone might consider sponsoring my education. I did my part and one of my uncles gave me assurance that he would sponsor my education. I completed my basic nursing education in Nigeria. Just as I was about finishing, my uncle sponsored me to migrate to the United States of America where my carrier took off.
Today, by the special grace of God, I am Dr Clara, Doctor of nursing practice, a board certified psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner. I am the founder of Victory Behavioral Health Services providing diagnostic assessment, medication management and individual psychotherapy to clients. Visit our website at www.victorybehavioralcare.com to learn more.
Life is a journey. I can relate through personal life experiences. I have been stressed, anxious and depressed. I have been hurt and disappointed. I have been married, had failed relationships, and have raised children through it all. I have done things I am so proud of. My children have done some things I am not proud of too. We are all human. We make mistakes and most of the time learn from them. I have felt overwhelmed juggling life, carrier, business, goals, aspirations, being a wife and a mother. I can relate to most of it all. Please connect with me, I can help.
Being a mental health nurse practitioner provides me the opportunity to utilize my education, skills, and personal life experiences to help others.
No matter where you are in your journey of life, or what life is throwing at you, I want you to know that you are going to be okay. This too shall pass. Everything is going to work out. What looks like a mountain will become plain ground. Please connect with someone, be open and honest about yourself, talk about it. Problem half shared is a problem half solved. Everyone has made one mistake or the other. You are not alone. You are worth saving. You are worth living. You deserve a second chance. Suicide is not an option.
Have you felt like life is here to get you? Have you felt insecure and troubled? Some people go through a breaking point, and they stay shattered and wounded forever. I urge you to look inside of you. God has already provided you with all you need to survive. Learn coping skills and use them. If you need someone to speak into your life, reach out to someone (a counselor, a therapist, a pastor, a minister, a friend), listen and allow them to help you. Life is not trying to get you. Life may be trying to get your attention. Healing begins with you wanting to change, wanting to listen, and connecting to the change.
Mental wellness affects how you live, how you love, and how you laugh. The first step to achieving mental wellness is self-care. Self-care is self-love. Self-care is connecting to your mind, body, and spirit. Learning the things that make you happy and the things that make you unhappy. Self-care is centered on oneself. One cannot give others what they do not have. Self-care is learning to put yourself first before others. Learning how to say “no” to others or things and not feel guilty about it. Learning yourself well enough to teach others how to relate with you. Setting that healthy boundary. Self-care is having a moment to yourself.
When you notice that the things that used to excite you no longer bring joy or happiness to you, it is time to speak to someone and get help before you slip into depression. When you notice that you have an internal critic or inner voice telling you derogatory things about yourself, it is time to get help and learn how to silence that inner critic. Stop worrying about what others are saying to you or about you. Create a space to listen to the voice of God. Turn down the outside noise and listen to the voice of God.
